


All Roads Since You Are Wrong Directions (I'll Never Get Home)

by perspectivesinpaper



Series: Those Five Months [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: AU Tommy Lives, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Rebuilding, flommy, olicity - Freeform, post-Undertaking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-05-29 22:06:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6395785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perspectivesinpaper/pseuds/perspectivesinpaper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Some idiots just can't tell the difference between an exit and an oncoming train. Screw the light. He had Felicity and they'll make their own path through the darkness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Retribution

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The days that never came](https://archiveofourown.org/works/869119) by [ferggirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ferggirl/pseuds/ferggirl). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Retribution : (n.) the dispensing or receiving of reward or punishment especially in the hereafter

**~An Olicity Story~**

* * *

She had failed. There was a second device and she hadn't caught it. She had been the one who was supposed to be poring over the specs, learning everything that she could about the device. She was the one who went through Merlyn Global's files. And yet she didn't see it. How could she not have seen it? She failed and now people were dead. Buried. Never again to see the light of day. She didn't have any clue how many people were affected by her failure and qutie frankly she was too scared to know.

But she needed something to hold on to. Something that she knows knows without a doubt to be factually true because while everything crumbled into ruins her heart fractured as well. Really all it took was one word. One heavily laden word.

Laurel.

She was never really an outcast when she was growing up. She had a healthy amount of friends who genuinely adore her. In fact she still kept in touch with them quite regularly. But she always felt like she was in the shadows behind them. They were gorgeous, the types who were poised and picture perfect, and had that certain magnetism to them that just drew people (more specifically men) to them. And so she sat by beside them as boy after boy passed her by. It wasn't even like her friends rubbed it in her face, or the boys used her to get to them, in fact many of the boys even became her friends. She just never got anywhere past that.

She was just always going to be the girl on the wings. And really it was not like it bothered her or anything. Distressed maybe. Ruined her self-esteem probably. It's not like she thought that she was unattractive, in fact she knew that she was pretty okay looking. Not bad per se, but she can fare well on her own. She was just always going to be the cute/adorable one to the sexy/hot one. And really she liked to believe that she has accepted that. Because that was just life. She was the regular IT girl and not the statuesque Lances of the world.

It was just that maybe she wanted to come first this time. To be chosen over the pretty girl. And that she had actually deluded herself into believing that it had finally happened. Because here she was in the basement. Oliver had chosen her to trust with his secret. To join his crusade.

But all of that came crashing down. And all it took was just one word. And yet that one word had said everything. He was racing through the anguish and the wreckage to get to his world, leaving her behind in the shambles of what she had stupidly believed to be the life that they were building together.

She removed her comms and switched it off, she knows that she shouldn't, that there were still aftershocks going around the city, that they would wonder what happened to her (because they would. Right?), but she had to. Because she couldn't anymore. She can't hear his desperation, his longing, his love, for his past, his girl, his future (someone who wasn't her, someone who she could never measure up to). Not tonight. Because she was barely holding on to herself as it was.

And that pissed her off. Because people died because of her and yet the fact that Oliver was running to lovely Laurel, who had ample time to get out of the Glades from Moira's warning, instead of back to base to her where she has been, always waiting for him ever since she joined his crusade, hurt more than it should.

So she stood there, in the middle of the foundry, in the middle of what was slowly becoming her home, her havana, her safe place, in the middle of an empty room that symbolizes hope, the ability to fight for a new day, in the middle of the room with the walls literally crumbling around her. How could she have let it get this far?

No situation could ever be more poetic.

* * *

When Tommy reached Verdant all he wanted to do was destroy everything of his that he would be able to get his hands on. It didn't matter to him that he had absolutely no idea how to get down to the basement to actually get to them but he'll find a way somehow because Oliver had managed to turn his life upside down without much effort, who says he can't repay the favor.

Ever since they were kids Oliver was the one who always came up with the harebrained schemes. It wasn't that he was completely innocent, he had come up with some crazy schemes of his own but it was Ollie's that always fell into the extremes, whether it was to nick the ice cream from the freezer before a big family dinner or to go and break into the police parking lot and piss on the cruisers that were there.

Oliver was the one who had always somehow gotten them into the biggest trouble they've befallen in their childhood. Oliver was the one who had known that Tommy had liked Laurel but he still went after her in the first place before he could get the nerve to do it. Oliver was the one who treated his relationship with Laurel like trash at every turn. Oliver was the one who ripped the rug from beneath him when he disappeared for five years, taking Laurel's sister with him. Oliver was the one who had to go running around in tight ass clothes wreaking havoc in the city. Oliver was the one who told him about the earthquake machine. Oliver was the one who was supposed to stop it. Oliver was the one who just had to come back from the island and upend the world that he had carefully built for himself without him.

A world where he had what he thought was a good life (sure he lost his best friend but he was slowly moving on). A life where his father wasn't a crazed lunatic (just an absent bastard, but he has always been like that). A life that he was starting to build with Laurel (finally).

Laurel. It's come down to her again.

Laurel who Oliver carried out of the remnants of CNRI like the hero straight out of a comic book that he pretended to be. Laurel who Oliver had chosen to sleep with right after making one hell of an argument to Tommy to pursue. Laurel,who will always choose Oliver over him in the end no matter all of the shit that he had put her through.

But then again he always came too late. Had he just recovered from his father's attack quicker he might have made it. Had he gotten to CNRI first maybe it would've been him to save her, him to be her hero. Had he just gotten to his senses regarding his feelings for Laurel first and actually fought for it maybe he would've been the one with her all along. Had he shown her that he would love her better sooner, maybe he would've been her choice. Because he knew, deep in his soul, he would've been better.

He pushed against the heavy doors, feeling the weight of some debris behind it, but he didn't care. He was angry. He was angry at his father for causing this mayhem. He was angry at Oliver for having everything he worked hard for. He was angry at himself. For not being enough. Never enough.

All in all there wasn't much damage to the club. There were some cracks on the walls and some of the smaller pillars have collapsed but none of them seemed to be load bearing. There was a strong smell of alcohol in the air from all of the shattered bottles from the bar and he wondered briefly if the bottles in storage had fared better. Mostly the damage appeared to be cosmetic yet it's impact points seemed to run too deep to be covered by a simple coat of paint.

He stormed through the empty dance floor stumbling a little at the slight aftershocks that were still running across the eastern side of the city, ignoring the fact that dust and some small debris were falling from the ceiling. He needed an outlet for all his anger and he wasn't going to let the possibility of being crushed alive to get it.

All he could hear was the echo of his footsteps keeping beat to his fast breathing and the rhythmic ting of the rubble impacting the metal stairs behind him all encompassed by the deep thudding of his heartbeat in his ears.

Tommy headed straight for where he knew the basement door was and maneuvered himself around the fallen shelves blocking his path. He continued on, happily surprised by the fact that a loose beam had fallen onto the wall maybe this was something that he could do right this time, pushing the door open and crushing any kind of locking mechanism beneath it, but he wasn't ready for the sight that greeted him downstairs.

Because while he was slowly accepting the reality that Oliver seemed to destroy everything he touched, what he saw when he reached the bottom of the stairs drove the fact home to him more than anything else. In the middle of the empty cavern there was a blonde, his blonde, Felicity, standing in the middle of a crumbling room surrounded by a myriad of arrows and weapons, weapons of destruction, weapons that probably have claimed more than one life, covered head to toe in a myriad of dust and cuts, waiting for something (someone) that will probably never come.

* * *

When Tommy had found her it was after it had sunk into her that no one was going to be coming to her. It's her own fault really. She had told Diggle that she was fine really and insisted that he should head towards the hospital when he called, because some small part of her. Some small, weak, desperate part of her, had hoped that maybe Oliver would still come. Or call. Or anything. Or maybe she could keep lying to herself and say it's really because he really does need to go to the hospital. Because he does. Truly.

But Oliver didn't. Most likely wouldn't. And really she should stop putting herself in these positions. There's a line, Felicity. And what's the point to lying anyway. She's given into the truth earlier. She's done it already. What's the harm in admitting another defeat?

And god she hates herself. Because she's down here wallowing in self pity for something that she should have been smart enough to avoid in the first place while everywhere around the city at the same moment there are people out there who are experiencing actual unbearable physical and emotional pain in the hands of a crazed and grief driven psychopath.

"Lines huh?" Speak of the devil and ye shall appear. Well close enough.

* * *

Tommy didn't know what to think. He didn't really know her. He saw her at the club every once and a while and only really met her earlier that day. But he knew that to some degree Oliver cared about her. He's seen Oliver visibly lighten when she was around and get increasingly defensive whenever he wondered who she was. And in turn today he had a chance to see how deep her devotion to him was. Even until now.

But then again she was waiting in the rubble for someone that will likely never come, which isn't really devotion but simply sheer stupidity. I guess it was a truly fine line.

"Why are you here?" Her voice was empty. Hollow. Defeated.

"Because I'm alone." He paused. "And so are you. You know he's not going to come." He taunted. She refused to turn to face him, and he could tell that she's barely holding on to all of her emotions. "I saw him at CNRI. You know I bet the second it happened he came running for her. Probably didn't even care what happened to you. Didn't care that you were at the Glades too. Hell you're at a basement. His basement." He smirked as he saw her stand straight and taut. Tightly coiled like a spring about to be released.

She kept her back to him but he was getting close enough to her that he could see her hands that were wrapped around her clench tightly against her sides."You're an ass." And her voice was a mixture of agony and defeat that he could nearly feel the empty victory within him. He was lashing out, he knew. But he couldn't stop. He wouldn't. He didn't want to. Because for once he was the one in a conflict that will be the one coming out strong.

He let out a hollow laugh as he stood behind her and kept pushing. "It's always going to be Laurel for him. No matter what you do. It's Laurel. Everything and everyone else can go rot in hell." He reached forward and pulled her ponytail off of her shoulders, letting it trail down her back. She cringed at his sudden touch and turned to face him.

Her face was pale and ashen only exhibiting the light red gashes that littered the expanse of skin. There were smudges of dirt across her face, only cut through by trails of loose tears that fell unwittingly. Her eyes were glassy and unfocused. Her lips, the very lips that were bright pink that he kissed not that long before, were now devoid of any color and curled into a pained grimace. "Don't you have anything else better to do?" She bit back. He let his guard down at her retort, not expecting her to fight back.

* * *

She was tired. She was defeated. She was fractured. She didn't have the time for another billionaire with daddy issues pining after Laurel Lance. But then she saw his face, curled into a grimace and sagging with grief. There was turmoil behind his blue eyes that called to her. Urging her to dive in and weather the storm.

"Didn't you hear? My dad destroyed half the city tonight. My best friend is off fucking the love of my life. So no, Felicity." She took his sarcasm in stride, her gaze never wavering from his. "I have nothing better to do."

He laughed then. It was bitter and hollow and mangled and she while she was only a hair's breadth away she wanted to reach out to him because he was the epitome of casualty. He played no part in this destruction. He simply tried to live, and yet he was caught in the middle of it all and nothing will ever be the same.

"I'm sorry." Because what else could she say? There's probably no polite way to tell someone that their dad was just killed by their best friend and hey there you're left to live another day and clean up his mess.

"I don't want to hear your platitudes." The frost in his voice pierced through her and her sympathy. She was trying to help amidst her own issues and once again it was not being accepted. She scoffed at his attitude.

"Fine then. Your father killed numerous people tonight and there's nothing you could do about it. But I did. I had the chance to do something about it. And I failed. I-" She hadn't meant to go that far. But like usual, her mouth ran away from her. It was one thing to think it. To know it deep in your bones. But it's a whole other thing to voice it out to the world. Because proclaiming it made it real. Now it's out in the world that she had a chance and failed. And under that weight she crumpled.

She barely felt his arms wrap around her, supporting her weight. Her chest started to constrict and every breath felt like a struggle. She lost track of her surroundings and any essense of time. All she knew was that she was crumbling, falling…down… and then she wasn't.

Felicity let it all go. Her fear, her heartbreak, her anger at herself, her grief for all of the people who died that night and those who are injured. And when she was done, she felt lighter.

The two of them stood in silence, not bothering to move out of the human comfort of his arms, letting the moment pass them by. They didn't really know each other so any form of condolence 'it's not your fault' 'you tried your best' 'you'll be okay' they're all just empty words. And she was fine with the quiet that fell between them. Even she knew that sometimes there were some moments that were better of passed without any words or actions.

He stroked her cheek, making her eyes flutter at the feeling, it's been an embarrassingly long time since she has been touched so intimately. She let herself gradually relax in his arms content.

But then he was kissing her and while her thoughts still hasn't caught up with her, her brain managed to engage enough to push Tommy as far away as she could with his arms still banded around her. "Stop. Tommy. Stop . What are you doing?"

She searched his face, trying to understand what was happening, but she couldn't get past his eyes. His eyes that were opened wide, wild, and determined. "I'm tired Felicity. I'm tired of being second fiddle to Ollie. To my dad. To Laurel. I'm tired of taking the backseat in Oliver's life. If they both want him then they can all go their merry way. I'm making a stand."

He loosened his grip but kept his hands on her arms, his gaze never wavering from hers. "I'm done. I'm going to forge my own path. And I'm taking you with me. And honestly right now this could be the worst or the best decision I've made in my life."

"You don't even know me." No. She wasn't comfortable with this. She wasn't the type to run on impulse. She liked facts. Pros and cons. She always thought ahead to see just how much each decision could impact her life. She never just charged forward blindfolded.

But there was this seductive desperation to his voice that was compounded by the steely determination in his eyes that just couldn't be avoided. "That's easily fixed. Run with me Felicity." But then again, that girl, that girl who thought she had covered all the bases didn't. She had made a glaring miscalculation that cost people their lives. She thought she understood when Oliver told her that when they lost, they lost big, as were the stakes to what they did. So what was so good about that path anyway?

"Even if Oliver does end up returning your feelings Laurel will always be there. And he'll just toss you aside the second that she beckons. You know it's true. So screw him, Felicity. Screw him and Laurel. They can go stay in their fucking carousel until they puke. Let's get out of it." His fingers moved to trail along her side from her hip to the shell of her ear seductively at his words, if she didn't know any better she'd say that he was trying to use neuro linguistic programming on her because right now his words feel very good. "Jump with me, Felicity."

If she agreed to this…it would be wrong. So wrong. And for once in her life, Felicity didn't want to be in the right. She may be a genius but that doesn't mean that she wasn't human. She's capable of making stupid decisions as well, her piercing devotion to Oliver as a case in point. Tommy was right. They were both alone. It didn't have to mean anything right now. It was just two people who felt cheated, just throwing caution to the wind and common sense out of the window, comforting each other from a devastating night. And whether or not they could build anything out of their venture was something for the future to decide.

So she pulled him roughly to her, closing the distance.

She didn't care that they were in the Foundry. She didn't care that anyone can walk in at any time. She didn't care that looters can come in and use this opportunity to their advantage. She didn't care that nothing good can come out of this. She didn't care that this was Tommy Merlyn running his hands down her body. She didn't care that this wasn't anything past physical because he was still head over heels in love-in-idleness with Laurel Lance. She didn't care that he was the best friend of the man that she had very deep feelings for. She didn't care that she was doing this in said man's sanctuary, as well as her retreat.

She was well past caring. She was hurting and angry and she just wants a reprieve from it all.

He lifted her in his arms effortlessly and started to walk toward some direction. She couldn't tell where because all she was focusing on was the feel of his fingers digging into her skin. She was going to have bruises tomorrow and she didn't give a fuck. He was venting out his emotions on her and she wasn't trying to contain her own. She was his compensation and he was hers. Tonight. At this moment, they were taking back everything that they felt Oliver and Laurel, and even the world, owed them.

Whether or not anyone else knew it, this was how they were being recompensed.

She wrapped her legs around him as she wrapped her arms around his neck, thoroughly pressing every inch of her around him. She grabbed the ends of his hair, exposing his neck to her. She licked a trail up his neck and nipped at his ear eliciting a sharp hiss from him. She blew on the trail that she crossed, the cool air on his hot skin making him tremble. She used her hands to leverage her and used it to rise in his arms slightly and grind herself against him, revelling in the purely physical relief that it brings her and it stroked her long dormant fire.

She grinned at the falter in his steps which turned to a sharp gasp as he reached one of the industrial columns and slammed her hard against it. She could feel the back of her head begin to throb but she pushed on through. She was gone. Too far gone for the little details. She blocked out her thoughts because she knew that if she really got down to it she'll overthink so she blocked everything else out and concentrated on how he felt.

How hot his skin felt beneath her fingers as she tried to touch every inch of exposed flesh that he had, using her adept fingers to bare more. She ran her fingernails across his chest, trailing down until they reached the firm fabric of his pants.

How soft his hair felt against her skin when he rested his lips on the crook of her neck, licking and biting. She'll probably be covered in little marks by the end of the night.

How roughly his hands held her and ran against every inch of her body, above and below her clothes, leaving a searing feeling in it's path. It was almost too much.

How his tongue soothed the trail that his fingers left behind. And boy did it know what to do.

How every thrust pushed her higher and higher towards the peak. Up and up and up and up.

It was hard.

..rough

...frantic

….depraved

…..desperate

…...savage

….frenzied

…..passionate.

Explosive.

She panted heavily as Tommy fell against her, pinning her more into the pillar. He turned his head and pressed his lips to her pulse point, making her smile at the sudden gentleness. She was spent and satiated and sore in some pretty good places. She felt lighter than she has in months.

She knew that there were still many things to fix, the real world to attend to. There was still the mess outside that needed to be dealt with. But she had this moment.

Maybe it wasn't wrong. Maybe it was just the release that she needed.

They were two broken people. People who were too broken. But maybe their individual broken pieces can fit together well enough to be able to keep them from total destruction.

* * *

They were both worn down and damaged. Both toyed with by the same circumstance and tossed aside at the hands the same two people. But they'll push through. They will forge their own path through the mayhem and build whatever they could from what they've shared.

So while Oliver may have Laurel, and the rest of the world be damned, he had Felicity and they will dance on the ashes until they fell.

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Upcoming: [Part II - Repercussions]
> 
> Sometimes I really feel like, with the compassion that Felicity possesses for other people, even those who were strangers to her, she should have had a bigger reaction to the Undertaking happening. And while it may not seem like it, this really will be an Olicity story in the end, because those two just fit in all the right ways. I might veer on that though, a little (A LOT), fair warning.
> 
> There's this one episode in Criminal Minds after the death of a major character and one of the final lines struck a chord.
> 
> "We come in here and we talk to you. Where do you go?"


	2. Repercussions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Repercussions : (n.) an unintended consequence occurring some time after an event or action, especially an unwelcome one

There was something about the break of dawn that always appealed to Felicity. There was always a certain calm that came with it, what felt like a deep exhale after holding one's breath through the night. It soothed her and always gave her some sense of peace, because it was a new day and there was no telling where it was going to go.

But at this moment she wasn't sure if the cleansing effect of dawn would be enough to be able to assuage the hand that the city was dealt last night.

Tommy and her didn't linger in the basement, for their safety and for the fact that they really did not know where to go from there. Their emotions were running high and now that they have managed to reach some clarity, they had no idea where to go next.

All Felicity knew was that she was tired and that after she wakes up she will have to face the facts and find a way to move forward from the consequences of last night's activities and she had to be well rested to be able to handle that. And while it would be so much easier to make a decision without one of the factors around her she did know that she couldn't just leave Tommy alone.

She spared a glance at the man standing a few feet away. His dark hair was covered with dust and had bits of debris on it. His blue eyes were dull and scrounged up with a distressing uncertainty in them. He looked worn down and beaten without any idea where to go. Gone was the cocky and self-assured bachelor and the outraged son and former lover. All that was left was a lost boy who found himself suddenly thrown off of Neverland.

"I don't think Merlyn Manor is the best place to be right now." His eyes snapped up to hers, surprise taking over his face. "If that's where you're even staying right now. For all I know you have your own place, or hell your own building. Probably a penthouse or two. I mean you can afford it. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Crap. Three...Two...One...What I mean is that it takes a lesser hacker or anyone determined enough really to find your address, any of them. And a hotel can only keep your secret for a day or two at the most before the press can find you."

The gravity of the tail end of her ramble was enough to bring the bemused grin from his face to fall down at the warning behind her words.

"I have a spare room. It's not much. But it should do for a few days." She nodded at him, not giving him much time to answer as she gave his hand a firm squeeze and a slight pull towards his car before turning around, leaving no room for argument as she got into her own.

She kept herself from checking her rearview mirror to see if he took her up on her offer until she was a few blocks from Verdant and was pleased to find his incredibly ostentatious silver car loosely following her mini coop.

They were nearly at her home when she realized that she never checked to see if her townhome had been damaged in the quake and wondered if there was any home for her to come back to. She didn't live in the Glades, her house was far enough from the worst of the dangers but it wasn't so far from the area that there would have been a definite certainty that it was spared by however big the blast radius was. As she got closer she checked the buildings that surrounded her, pleased to see that they were still standing and that there didn't seem to be much damage.

She pulled up to the curb in front of her house and gestured for him to pull into the driveway before her into the overhead parking. She was starting to lose her grip on her exhaustion, causing her to stumble slightly as she got out of her car. She gave Tommy a smile and a mumbled thanks as his hand reached out to her elbow to steady her.

"Do you have a tarp or anything I can use to cover this thing?"

"I don't think so. I could ask my neighbor or something but I don't know if I can hold a conversation right now."

Felicity unlocked the front door and reset her alarm system, relieved at the familiar smell of her home that washed through her. At first glance there didn't seem to be anything out of place aside from some knocked over tchotchkes. "The spare room is the first door to the right up the stairs. Bathroom is right across from it. As long as you don't open any external doors or any windows the alarm won't go off. Kitchen is that way and you're free to anything edible that's left."

They didn't exchange any more words after that both just making their own way to their respective beds. She just lay down without even bothering to change. She doubted she would be able to get any shut eye with all of the thoughts swirling through her head but the second that her head had hit her pillow the past few days just caught up to her and she fell asleep.

When Felicity opened her eyes it was dark and musty and everything around her felt heavy. She tried to move but her body won't cooperate with her at all. It was dark so dark. She had no idea where she was. There was no light to be able to distinguish any of her surrounding features.

Dread started to weigh in on her constricting her heart. She tried to call out for someone. To move her arms. But they were pinned down. She couldn't reach out. Make any noise. Anyone. Anyone that could help her.

But no one was there.

Her lungs were starting to burn as her breathing came into short bursts, the panic and the weight above her pushing her down.

"Felicity!"

No one was going to find her. She felt like she was choking and she felt something wet against her cheeks but she couldn't think. She couldn't breathe.

"Felicity!" The voice rushed to her like rapids of freezing water, pulling her out with a fury.

She sat up gasping, nearly headbutting someone with the suddenness of her movement. "Shit! Watch it."

The voice registered in her head causing her to still. "Tommy?" What was he doing here?

"You were shouting. Scared the crap out of me." She squinted to look at him only to find a blurry dark haired figure in front of her. She reached for her face to find her glasses horribly smudged from falling asleep with it on silently glad to find that she could move her arms again, although her legs were still being weighed down by what she was going to assume for the moment as Tommy.

She took her glasses off, rubbing the lenses with the cloth that she keeps on her bedside table for something to do not quite wanting to meet his eyes for fear of what he would be able to see there. "Sorry. I… bad dream."

"I figured." His voice, though barely above a whisper, carried through her whole room.

She placed her glasses back on her face, finally able to get a better grip on her surroundings. The late afternoon light was coming through her window, illuminating the forlorn man sitting across her legs on her bed. "You're -ah." Felicity shifted her legs beneath him to make her point, trying to avoid hitting any sensitive areas.

Tommy just shrugged, "You were thrashing around pretty bad. Nearly took me out."

He hesitated for a second before stretching out beside her crossing both of his arms below his head, freeing Felicity's legs. "What now?"

Felicity didn't answer right away, her mind going through the possibilities. Both Moira Queen and Malcolm Merlyn have been very publicly outed as people behind the whole affair and if she was able to find a connection through the Merlyn Global's servers then the government probably would as well and there's also a likelihood that Queen Consolidated would undergo the same treatment for a while.

Then there's the Glades and it's rebuilding which truly takes priority over everything else. But how? Where does a person even start with that?

Two people. Felicity looked to her right, to the man lying beside her, a man that she had only known of until the last twenty four hours and yet she had willingly stripped herself bare to him, exposing the deepest valleys of her psyche and so did he. Their connection was born of adrenaline, resignation, desperation, encompassing grief, and sheer and utter need to do something stupid and reckless and let go of the responsibility that befell them.

They threw their chips into the same bowl and there's a large possibility she's more invested in this than he is. But he was looking at her like she was the one that could keep him from drowning and she couldn't for the life of her, turn away.

"We fix it. However way we could." And she would. She would right her wrongs. Find a way to make sure that something like this could never happen again. Not when she has the ability to stop it.

Tommy reached forward and pulled her to him. Blue eyes meeting blue. "Tomorrow."

* * *

Malcolm Merlyn was declared missing soon after the fact. No one knew where he was or what happened to him during what was apparently called "The Undertaking" yet his blonde companion had disclosed the truth to him. His father had fallen in the hands of the closest person that he had to a brother. In truth he didn't know how to take it. He was a bastard and he and Tommy hardly ever saw each other, much less got along. But he was still his father and he was dead.

His father that apparently had killed five hundred and two mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, sisters, brothers, and friends in some act of vengeance for his mother. How was he supposed to react?

It's been a month since that night and everything was still a mess. He was still staying at Felicity's house, both for his sake and hers, although she wouldn't admit to the latter. Merlyn Global is currently closed and under investigation by the FBI and Homeland Security for domestic terrorism and his family Manor had many attempts, both successful and not, at being vandalized so he didn't really stay at any of his properties. On the other hand he had to hire a car service to provide trails to some Merlyn properties as well as some high end hotels that changed every night just so that they would not be able to connect him to Felicity, lest he put her in the line of fire for those seeking vengeance for his father. Because he couldn't just leave her.

Felicity was still having nightmares.

It didn't take much to guess what it was about. Often she still woke him up screaming in the middle of the night, clawing at her surroundings as if trying to get free from whatever weight was pressed upon her. There were times where there was a heartbreaking desperation to her voice and that if he couldn't get there fast enough she would scream herself raw. Then there were other nights, which he believed to be worse, wherein she just started hyperventilating and appeared to give up, to surrender to the weight. She didn't want to talk about it, whatever it was that was bothering her, and he didn't press because that wasn't their relationship.

She tried her hand at staying awake all night but there was only so long that Tommy could spend running across the house to the sound of her nightmares trying to figure out where the hell she fell asleep this time. He often had to carry her back to her bed then because she was often still trapped in the lingering nightmare to be able to make it to her bed by herself.

He gave her an ultimatum then. Telling her that she had to at least try to sleep even if it's just for his sake and sanity and the knowledge that he would know where to find her at short notice. In the end Tommy spent more time in her bed than his.

They still started out the night in their own rooms because initially going there to sleep would be so domestic and it just never sat well with them. It felt weird the first time that they tried because it just felt like something that one would do with a spouse or a significant other and they could just never put each other in that kind of box. So each night they go their own ways and whenever a nightmare occurs he would run to her room and they would spend the rest of the night talking about anything and everything, from her childhood to his dreams, random thoughts that pop out of their head or their most kept secrets until they both fell asleep again.

It wasn't like he was sleeping any better either way.

There was nothing romantic between them, their one night simply borne out of adrenaline and mounted emotions. They were both still in love with different people and it just wouldn't be fair for either of them. But at the same time they comforted each other above and beyond the limits of what friends do. They lacked any boundaries amidst each other both physically and mentally. They both have grown to deeply care for each other built from weathering the storm together for the last few weeks.

It wasn't that they had purposely isolated themselves recently, but the situation did not really make for easy social calls. It led to a certain type of dependency with the two of them. It wasn't that they were pursuing a sexual relationship but they are touchier than most friends. And he has grown to become fiercely protective of her but then again from what little information he can gather there was just something about her that incited that reaction from people. It definitely seemed that way when he had first met Mr. Diggle.

He tugged lightly at a loose bunch of hair that fell from Felicity's braid. "Are you going to be coming tomorrow?"

They were both at her bed again after another particularly bad nightmare. There was a lull for a while, but as the date grew closer it seemed to pick up it's rate and came more often. At this rate he would be able to hold his own in 60m sprints.

There was unencumbered grief in her eyes. "I don't know if I can."

He took a deep breath, he hated seeing her like this. "It's as much your fault as it is mine Felicity."

"It's not your-"

"Exactly." He cut her off. He scooped her up in his arms and rested his chin atop her head. "Plus I need you there. Even if it's just for you to hack into the soundbooth and execute a perfect diversion so I can get away before I get mobbed."

She chuckled at that. "Tommy after all of the work you and Oliver…" He didn't acknowledge the waiver on her voice at his best friend's name. "...have put into rebuilding the Glades as well as the majority of the funding for the search and rescue as well as temporary housing for the citizens, not to mention the fact that the two of you actually sifted through rubble for a week… I'm pretty sure those pictures of the two of you made it to CNN not to mention every tabloid and gossip magazine because you two getting down and dirty like that…"

"Land your plane Smoak." Tommy chuckled.

She pushed off of him and her eyes met his. "It's just that they don't blame you. Either of you. It's not your fault your parents went all Doctor Evil. They get that. They just lashed out at you in the beginning. And maybe some people still will. But it's not your fault. Sometimes...sometimes it's just easier for people to be able to blame someone. And with your dad..."

He murmured her name as he roughly rubbed a hand across his face. Usually he handled this, her guilt, better. But the memorial ceremony for all of the fallen in the Glades had been weighing on him as well and it was wearing him down. He flopped back on her bed and clenched his fist trying to reign himself in.

"At least you had a hand in trying to stop it, Felicity. I was knocked out and useless." Tommy continued on forcefully, skirting over her attempt at breaking him off. "You deserve to be there more than I do. If it weren't for you then the list of people we would be honoring tomorrow would be twice the size."

He took a deep breath trying to center himself. It's something that has been bothering him for a while now but he kept pushing it back further and further because Felicity was still dealing with her guilt and there was the investigation and the Glades rehabilitation and what the hell he was going to do after and now that it's out he can't push it back in.

"I did nothing Felicity! And I get it! I'm not that crazy superhero vigilante like Oliver who can actually go toe to toe with my dad, who may I add is apparently some ninja archer. When did that even happen? Is there some secret archer training center that I don't know about? Because two people in my life seem to suddenly become quite good at it.

"But that's not the point. The point is I didn't know. I didn't know Felicity! He's been planning this for years and I didn't see it. I knew that mom's death did a number on him but I didn't think that he-"

He took a deep breath trying to battle the constricting feeling in his throat. "He was my father. My father Felicity. How could I have been so blind?"

Silence fell between the two of them once again. During his spiel Felicity had shifted so that her head rested on his shoulder as she tightened her arm and leg around him, offering him what comfort she could, and if it wasn't for the fact that he could see Felicity drumming her fingers on his chest he would have assumed that she had fallen back to sleep.

He was never fond of the quiet. He felt that he had enough of that in his own home wherein he was always alone and encouraged to be seen and not heard. It was oppressive and smothering. He had always surrounded himself with life and vibrancy, parties, city life, fast cars, and a roar of a jet's engine but here in Felicity's home, with the woman that had the capabilities to talk for hours on end with no signs of stopping, the silence was peaceful, a refuge. Maybe because he never felt truly alone in those moments whether it was small contact or the constant thrumming of keys on a keyboard or her tablet, he always knew that she was there with him.

"Okay."

Her whispered words were loud in the silence. "I'll go tomorrow."

* * *

Felicity hadn't been back to the foundry ever since that night but she has been visiting it pretty regularly in her dreams and something deep inside her knew that she couldn't show up at the memorial a mess because it wasn't about her. It was about all of the people who were lost in the Undertaking.

She's been standing by the back entrance for the better part of the last hour trying to find the courage to go into the basement of what was once the most popular club in the Glades. She just had to know what would have really happened not the situations that her unconscious mind keeps coming up with.

"Felicity."

She jumped at the voice behind her. A voice that she would know anywhere. She could never get a hold of how he managed to move so quietly especially considering his sheer size and weight.

"If I didn't know any better I would say that you just called me fat." She could hear the smile in his voice, but she couldn't find it in herself to find any humor or even a shred of embarrassment at voicing her thoughts out loud at the moment.

"How are you Oliver?" She turned to look at him for the first time in weeks. The most that she's seen of him lately was on TV or across a street as he helped shift rubble but she never got the chance to talk to him, because in the real world she was Felicity Smoak, IT Tech of Queen Consolidated, and he was Oliver Queen, billionaire playboy.

He was dressed to the nines in black, probably also on his way to the memorial ceremony as well. From a distance he seemed to be faring well but she knew him better than most people. She could see the guilt in his eyes and the heavy weight that he bore on his shoulders. His mouth was set on a grim line and his stance was more guarded than usual.

"What are you doing here Felicity?" He replied instead. Classic Oliver. He stood a few feet away from her and although his words sound accusing his tone was anything but. It was almost…worried.

She turned away from Oliver's gaze, knowing that her emotions would be out on display for him. She could never truly hide anything from his searching eyes, maybe it's because deep down she didn't really want to. "I haven't been back here since…that night."

"I know."

She looked at him in confusion but he simply shrugged in response. She didn't know when or how often he had come back to the Foundry. As far as she knew there hasn't been a sighting of the Hood since the Undertaking and she prayed that he hadn't been out patrolling without any backup. Just the thought brings a new round of worry through her.

"How bad is it down there?" A part of her didn't want to hear, but she never did take to not knowing well. And it really couldn't be worse than how her nightmares have played out.

Oliver shifted and a brief flash of emotion passed through his face that went by too fast for her to place. "It's not so bad. Dig and I cleared out the basement so that we could get some contractors to work on the structural problems. It's safe down there now. Do you want to go in and see?"

Felicity nodded but stayed rooted to her spot. She wanted to go. She needed to go. But she couldn't seem to make herself move an inch. She felt his hand on her shoulder, making her start. He didn't make a habit of touching her, well he never instigated any kind of physical contact really, with anyone. So she was thankful of the support that he was offering.

"I'll be with you every step of the way. I promise."

He was giving her the choice, willing to let her go either way she chooses. And she was grateful for that option. "Okay."

His hand slid from her shoulder to her back, leaving a searing trail across her back, gently leading her towards the entry to the foundry. She stepped closer towards him, seeking refuge in the comfort that he provided. She always felt safe with him. Most people saw him as dangerous, some still believe that he was a cold hearted killer. She knew that he has blood on his hands, too much. But she never felt wary of him. With him she knew that nothing wrong could happen.

The basement was devoid of anything beyond some spare tools and hard hats. Gone were his table of arrows and his box of island stuff. Gone were his salmon ladder, the bane of her libido, and the array of training mats on the floor. And gone was her desk and her precious computers.

"Where are my babies?" She whispered, almost scared of his answer.

She let out a sigh of relief when she saw Oliver's small smirk. "They're safe, for the most part." But the dread resurfaced when a sudden dark look landed on his face. "The monitors and the keyboard got crushed with some chunks of concrete. But your servers were saved by the metal casing."

"We'll have to buy you a new chair." She felt her knees buckle at the implication. She could have died if she had waited for him as she had originally planned. If she and Tommy had stayed there any longer than they did. Her vision started to get spotty and her chest started to hurt. How long would it have taken? A few more minutes? A few more hours? All of the sudden the black spots got replaced by a bright blue.

"Breathe. Felicity! Breathe. Come on now. In. Out. In…"

Breathe? What? She took a deep inhale feeling the sharp pang in her chest. When did she stop? She closed her eyes and just followed his lead, deep breath in, deep breath out, trying to get herself back into a regular pattern.

"I'm glad you got out when you did Felicity." He whispered. Her breaths began to even out and she began to realize that his hands hand a tight grip on her arms and that his face was merely inches from hers.

Oliver's face was pained and his eyes were searching her face. She reached out a hand, wanting nothing than to touch him, to help him relax but stopped herself before she could. That wasn't her place. So she just smiled at him, trying to reassure him that she was fine, and that it's not his fault.

They stood there for a while, simply letting the moment be. He never took his hands from her arms and she tried to stamp down the feelings that she felt from the small contact and his proximity.

She cleared her throat and stepped back slightly, eyeing her surroundings seeing a ghost of their former base and wondering what will happen with their group from this moment forward. Even though she hasn't really spoken to him she knew that Oliver must have taken the fall of half of the Glades personally, because that was just who he was.

He straightened up and let her go. "We should go. The memorial is going to be starting soon."

They were halfway out of the room when Felicity stopped in her tracks, causing Oliver to do the same. She took once last glance at the empty space behind them, waiting to be rebuilt. She knew that it might take a while and a lot of effort for her to be completely comfortable in the basement again. But she'll manage. Somehow.

She turned and levelled him with the most determined gaze that she could muster. "We're not done here."

And she meant it. They still had to talk about the Undertaking and how they were going to move forward as a team if there was still one. They had a good thing going here. They helped people that needed it and they made a difference. She wasn't going to give up on that. This was going to be how she moved forward. How she would atone for her mistake of letting the second device past her. And deep down she knew that Oliver needed to continue on as well.

She wasn't going to give up on this. Not while she still had any fight left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Upcoming: [Part III - Recoil]


	3. Recoil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recoil : (v.) to react to something with shock or fear; spring back to or as if to a starting point

It was all a blur to Tommy. The ceremony had gone smoothly for the most part, they had erected a monument with the names of all the fallen carved into the slab's four sides. He opted to stay near the back, not wanting his presence to impede the grieving. He could see Oliver in the distance with Felicity and his bodyguard not far beside him but Tommy made no move to talk to his former best friend.

He still hasn't gotten sight of Laurel but he heard that Detective Lance was present somewhere so she couldn't be that far. There were a few speakers, people who had lost their family and or their homes. He listened carefully, taking into account all of the things that his father had taken from all of these people, wishing that he could do more.

Things had been going so well until the end where all he could remember was a sharp crack out of nowhere and everywhere at once and a searing pain on his side.

In the back of his mind he could hear people screaming and someone calling his name, but his focus was entirely on the hole on his side and the red thing that was pouring out of it. Blood. Was that his blood? There's so much of it… Everything around him was beginning to spin and it started to hurt his head so he closed his eyes.

"Tommy. Come on. Look at me. Tommy!" He followed the sound of the voice only to be greeted by blue eyes.

"Laurel?" He wanted to reach out. To touch her. But he couldn't move. His limbs were too heavy. He felt something cold and wet beneath him. When did he get on the ground?

"She's with her dad. They're helping the civilians. Oliver and Diggle, and a quarter of the security, went after the shooter." He gasped as there was a sudden pressure on the bullet hole. That wasn't Laurel's voice. "I'm sorry, Tommy. But I have to stop the bleeding. Somehow."

"Felicity?"

"Yeah it's me, Tommy. Ugh. It's not stopping. Why isn't it stopping? Oh my god."

He felt the pressure in his wound increase and his vision went white for a brief second. "Fuck, Smoak. Ease up a little."

"I bet you say that to all the girls." He could hear the tears in her voice and it made him wince. He never liked it when she cried it always made him feel guilty somehow even if it was because of whatever movie she was watching that day and not even remotely his fault.

"Quite the opposite actually." He let out a bubbling cough. It was starting to get harder to breathe and everything was starting to get blurry. "Don't start crying on me now. Diggle's going to kill me. I'm pretty sure he threatened to shoot me if I made you cry. But then again I've already gotten shot so that's got to count for something."

"That's not funny, Merlyn." She let out a watery chuckle.

He could hear sirens getting closer. "Help is almost here. Just hold on a little bit longer okay? Okay?" Shit those things are loud.

"Don't tell me what to do, Smoak." He was starting to get really tired and it was getting harder to keep his eyes open.

"They're pulling up. Come on. Open your eyes, Tommy." He opened his eyes to see that Felicity was openly weeping now. Diggle was going to have his head.

All of a sudden there were bright lights everywhere, hurting his eyes.

"Let go, Felicity. They've got this." Oliver? "He's going to be fine."

"No! He won't stop bleeding. I- I can't." He could see a large shadow slowly pulling Felicity away as a bunch of other people came into his line of sight.

He could see Felicity struggling against someone's arms and he heard Oliver's voice over the people that were chattering nonsense around him.

"Felicity. You need to let the paramedics help."

That was the last thing he remembered hearing before he finally succumbed to the temptation and closed his eyes.

* * *

They had rushed Tommy straight to the O.R. leaving her with a stony Oliver in a waiting room for the last couple of hours. Their arrival, and Oliver's celebrity status, had drawn some unwanted attention so they were ushered into a more private waiting area closer to the surgical wing. They had tried to settle down but her hands and clothes were still red with his blood. Tommy's blood. And she couldn't make herself look away. There was just so much blood.

Felicity glanced at her hands and arms and could feel herself start shaking. Her vision started to get blurry around the edges when all of the sudden Oliver filled her senses. She could see his lips moving but she couldn't hear what he was saying over the ringing in her ears.

She could feel his hands running up and down her arms slowly drawing her out of the abyss. "Breathe, Felicity. Deep breaths."

"I- I just… There's so much. Oh god, Oliver." She tried to match his breathing, getting herself back into a proper rhythm. She closed her eyes, focusing only on the rise and fall of his arms in tune to his chest. Oliver was here with her. She was safe and he knew bullet wounds. He's certainly got the experience. If he said Tommy was going to be okay then Tommy was going to be okay. They had gotten him help in time. Right?

"He's in good hands. He'll be okay." His hands slid down her arms until they met with her hands. Her eyes immediately snapped open towards at the point of contact. It was an odd image. Her hands were small against his and it was oddly disconcerting to see the bright red against his tan skin.

"You should go to the bathroom."

Her mind was in chaos. Her worry for Tommy as well as her close proximity to Oliver was driving rational thought from her head. And yet she could feel his thumb making circuits around the base of hers, centering her. He was a paradox, spinning her in circles, and she didn't want to let go. "I can't. What if they-"

"Felicity, you're covered in blood. You should go clean up. I will be right here if anything happens. Okay?"

"But I-"

"Hey. Go. I'll get you if there's any news." He let go of her hands and steered her to the direction of the door. She walked to the bathroom mechanically, trying to catch bits and pieces of news from the nurses and doctors walking past her, not really paying attention to anything else. When she arrived in the bathroom she finally unlatched all of her fears and worries until there was nothing left. There were so many what ifs. What if they weren't able to get help fast enough? What if he lost too much blood? What if? What if? What if?

She wiped her eyes, getting rid of all traces of the fallen tears before heading to the sink.

Felicity didn't know how long she stood there, her arms and hands hanging limply below the stream of water as she watched the water wash away the blood on her arms, the red going steadily down the drain leaving nothing but pale skin and bright pink nails. Her head was going a million miles a minute, thinking about how she should have listened to that nagging feeling in her head last night that something was going to go wrong. Why didn't she listen?

Her thoughts were broken when someone else walked into the bathroom, giving her a worried glance. She tried to give a reassuring smile but she didn't know how successful she was at that attempt so she dried her hands and made her way back to the waiting room in a sprint all of a sudden more conscious of her bloodied appearance.

She wasn't surprised to find Oliver standing still, his back against the corner wall, giving him a clear view of the door and the window beside him. She gave him a slight nod of thanks and to let him know that she was okay as she made her way to one of the chairs along the wall.

"He can't stay with you any more." Oliver stated.

"Excuse me?"

"It's too dangerous. People saw how you two behaved after the shooting. If they figure out that he's been living with you…" He strangled the words out as if they were difficult to say. "...you don't have the necessary security to deal with that."

She stalked over to him angrily. "You have no say in whoever I choose to stay in my home Oliver."

He recoiled as if she had slapped him before he steeled himself again. "It's dangerous Felicity. Your house isn't secure. There's so many blind spots. So many opportunities to attack you or him."

Felicity felt a cold dread ripple through her back as he listed every possible way that her home, and her in proxy, could be broken into, targeted, breached. Attacked. Her mind went along with him, imagining every scenario that he put forth. And he was helpless to stop it. Any of it. "Stop." She hated the way that her voice came out as a trembled whisper. "Stop it!"

"Felicity." Oliver reached out and wiped a tear that she hadn't even realized had fallen. "I… I didn't mean to scare you."

She leaned into his touch, powerless to the pull that sang through her veins, and quite frankly she needed the safety that she always felt with him. She had never thought about her home's vulnerabilities, more worried about anyone trying to breach the foundry, because nobody knew of her identity. She covered her tracks well in anything Hood-related. She never thought that anyone would target her as Felicity the person as opposed to Felicity the vigilante tech support that she never considered her house's security.

At this point even her own rationalizations are falling flat in her mental debate .

"Mr. Queen?"

The two of them jumped apart at the sudden voice in the waiting room. She ran a hand through her face wiping away anymore wayward tears and realigning her glasses, as she tried to gain control over her emotions, nearly causing her to miss the doctor's words.

"So he'll be okay?" She reaffirmed.

"As long as he avoids any heavy lifting and makes sure that the wound gets treated regularly to avoid any infection, he should be." The doctor's warm smile soothed the rough edges that she's carved out from her worries. "He's still unconscious but one of you can come see him now for a few minutes."

She nodded, relieved, and was about to take a seat, assuming that Oliver would want to be the one to see him, when he turned to her.

"Are you sure? I mean…" She gestured to him, trying to mime their bond and long term friendship.

"Felicity. It's you he'd want to be there. We're still…" Oliver turned away, his fingers rubbing together. His expression was shadowed and his shoulders were slumped in defeat. "You should go."

Felicity just nodded at him, giving him a grateful smile, before following the doctor into a large open room down the hall.

She gasped when she finally saw Tommy in the bed, hooked up to all those machines. She'd seen Oliver in worse conditions with people with less expertise and yet she had steeled herself for that possibility every night. Every night that he left the foundry. But Tommy. She hadn't prepared herself for this. She had naively thought that Tommy, who was the son of a mass murderer and the best friend of an arrow wielding vigilante, would be spared from that world. She'd forgotten that he was already a part of that world of hurt and pain and death where people killed other people for fun or profit and any of it's repercussions after he was thrown in the middle of it by his father's actions.

She felt a warm hand on her shoulder, bringing her out of her musings. "When he's ready we'll move him to a private room and you'll be able to stay there as long as you want. You may wait there if you prefer."

She thanked the doctor, squeezing Tommy's hand once, before moving back to the waiting room only to find that Oliver had left.

* * *

When he woke up he was greeted by a lot of color and a sudden blur of blonde. He winced when arms went around him, applying pressure to his side.

"Oh crap." A very feminine voice said beside him and he felt the tension alleviate suddenly as he tried to focus his eyes. "Sorry."

"Felicity?"

"You're an idiot." She muttered vehemently as she wrapped him in his arms again, but more mindful of his injury.

He chuckled, the movement making him wince. "Believe it or not, that's not the first time that I've heard that." Probably not the last either.

Tommy felt her relax he wound his arms around her. "I don't doubt that one iota, but I'm so glad you're not dead."

He pretended to be affronted at her words but she wouldn't meet his eyes. He noticed that she was still wearing the same clothes from the ceremony except for the discarded heels on the floor. She was covered in blood. His blood. The thought made a cold shiver pass through him.

"I think it's time for me to move out."

"Et tu, Brute?" He raised an eyebrow at her in question, urging her to fill in the gaps. "Oliver."

He wondered how he found out about their living arrangements considering that he hadn't been the one to tell him, but decided that how he came upon that information wouldn't really make much of a difference. "I see." Also it wasn't like he and Felicity have spoken about their living situation in detail. Hell he was pretty sure that she just told him that she had a spare room and he just never left. Proverbially.

"But he's right Felicity." The words tasted rancid in his tongue but he's always known that Oliver cared a great deal about Felicity whether he knew to what degree he does or not. If there was one thing that they could still probably find common ground in, its in keeping her safe. "I can't stay with you anymore."

She pushed back from him. Moving to sit on the chair that he didn't notice at first. "After the afternoon I've had I don't think I could stay in that house either. Which just sucks. Royally. Because I love that house."

"Why? What happened?" Worst case scenarios kept running through Tommy's head. "Shit Felicity. Did something happen to your house? Did someone try anything with you?"

"What? No. Well maybe? I think the cat next door has been planning my demise for a while now. It's going to attack soon. I can feel it." She leaned back on her chair, placing her bare feet on the edge of his bed. How she managed to do that without flashing him in her dress is an unfortunate mystery. He tried to bat her feet away but the movement only made his side hurt making her grin victoriously.

"Felicity." He ground out her name.

She sighed. "I don't know if you've realized this yet. But I'm kind of a bitch."

Incredulity washed over him. In the little over a month that he's known her, she's nothing but accommodating to him, unselfish to a fault even. Not even to just him. She spent a lot of her free time helping those that were affected by the earthquake, working in the temporary shelters or helping sift through rubble. She gave and gave and hardly ever took. He had never seen how she was outside of the comforts of her home wherein she has her quirks and her little annoying habits, and really if there was any change to her personality it would probably be more like nice and more subdued. But a bitch?

"I don't take well to being ordered around." She gave him this little smirk. "I guess it triggers the deviant in me."

The incredulity probably showed on his face because she just rolled her eyes at him. "You know I'm pretty sure that's just a human thing. Nobody likes being ordered around. And the fact that you think that that automatically makes you a bitch just goes to show you how unbitchlike you are."

Felicity just sighed, letting the matter drop with her feet as she sat up straighter. "I do get it though. I understand why you feel like you have to go."

"I just don't want you to get caught in the crossfire." He shifted into a more comfortable position. "Whether it's people wanting some revenge or the paparazzi. I owe you that much and more."

"You don't owe me anything Tommy."

"Don't fight me on this Smoak. Just take it." He matched her stare, showing her that he wasn't backing down on this one.

"Fine. But that doesn't mean that you have to leave before you're ready." Her lip stuck out into a pout and he doesn't even think that she realizes she's doing it.

"That's the problem Smoak. I don't think I'll ever be ready. But I do need to learn to stand on my own to feet. No more dad. No more Ollie. No more Laurel."

"No more me?" She cut him off with guarded eyes.

"If only it was that easy to get rid of you." He smiled at her. "I need to do this, Smoak. You know I do. All my life I've never lived on my own. Depended on myself."

"I know." She sounded resigned, but a slight quirk on her lips told him that she understood. "I guess I should start looking for some cooking lessons to sign you into before you end up living in take out or worse, burning down a whole building."

"There's nothing wrong with pizza and chinese." He defended, not even bothering to fight her on his nonexistent cooking skills.

"Tell that to your cardiologist." Felicity relaxed at her seat again as the heavy atmosphere lightened. She placed her feet back at the edge of his bed, closer to him than before, much to Tommy's chagrin.

"Move your damn feet." He growled.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Make me."

He just rolled his eyes at her and smirked. "Bitch."

"Ass." Felicity threw back without pause.

He relaxed back into his bed, knowing when to back down. He placed a hand on her ankle, keeping it there to draw and simultaneously give comfort from the contact.

"Ain't that the truth."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Upcoming: [Part IV - Recovery]
> 
>  
> 
> I finally figured out where this story will be going, which will make it smoother in update times, now the only hurdle left is how to get there.


	4. Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recovery (n.) a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength; action or process of regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost

Felicity switched to the front facing camera on her tablet so that she could properly talk to Tommy. She was in the third and last apartment on their list of possible places and she was still reeling from the fact that people actually lived alone in places this big. Seriously, what is Tommy going to do with two spare bedrooms? "So what do you think of this place? Personally I think you should take it. I mean did you see that view?"

"What view Felicity? You've been sitting in the bathtub for the last hour." Felicity rolled her eyes at his statement.

"First of all, it's only been around ten minutes. And secondly, this tub is ginormous. Think of the therapeutic capabilities." She closed her eyes and adjusted herself into a more relaxed position. Yup. She could definitely get used to this.

"Therapeutic capabilities?" She didn't have to look at the screen to see the incredulity that she could hear in his voice.

"You know. After a long day you can just sit in the tub and think about life and let the jets do their work." It would be amazing to have something like this in her home. Sadly she'd probably have to gut her guest room and turn that whole thing into a bathroom just for it to fit.

"Okay. But why are you in it now?"

"Because it's comfortable. You'll have to buy this place Tommy because I'm not leaving. At all. Nope."

"Yeah I think you just want to spend some more time with Jack."

Felicity only stared at his smirking face in curiosity. "What do you mean?"

"You should go for it. I think he likes you." How he could manage to make such a lascivious wink work is a mystery to her, but what he was trying to say finally hit home and her eyes widened.

It wasn't that there was something wrong with Jack to make her so opposed to even thinking about going there with him. In fact he seemed like a decent human being. He even joined in with her bantering with Tommy after her repeated assurances that they were not together. In the bed squeaking romantic way. Which in hindsight, was a good thing, because she felt that she was starting to give Tommy a complex about his apparent lack of desirability.

Apparently he and Tommy had a few classes together back in college. They didn't run in the same circles, i.e. he wasn't the party frat boy that Tommy was, but they had managed to build a casual friendship through their classes. He was actually really sweet and anyone with eyes could see that he was stunningly handsome (Seriously where were all these good looking men when she was still single and in the game?) and if she wasn't already hung up on somebody else she would definitely go for it. But she was. "He doesn't even know me, Tommy. And you know I'm not...yeah"

"I'm not saying 'marry him'. You've got a right to live your life instead of just sitting there and waiting. Besides, you two have been flirting since the first viewing"

"No we haven't." Felicity thought back to the afternoon. No, she was pretty sure there wasn't any flirting going on.

Tommy just looked at her like she just grew a second head. "You have got to be kidding me. I'm the one who's had to sit here and listen the whole afternoon. I felt like that friend you had to take with you on a date because I can't be left alone."

Felicity just chuckled at his analogy. "It's because it's just heartless to leave a reprobate like you alone. And I'm not really the girl that guys siddle up and flirt with."

"You're selling yourself short again Smoak. He's got eyes. Four of them, in fact. Anyone can see you're a smokin piece of ass." She couldn't help but let herself be drawn completely out of the mood they've fallen into with the veiled mention of her situation with Oliver by his cheeky grin.

"Classy Tommy." Felicity jumped at the sudden echoing voice. She had completely missed the Jack's return.

"Why thank you. Don't you agree with my assessment?" She glared at Tommy's statement. She didn't need him forcing something that wasn't there.

"Of course I think that Ms. Smoak here is a very beautiful woman. Although I wouldn't have said it so crassly." Felicity felt her face burn from embarrassment but there was nothing in Jack's tone or face that indicated that he was simply humoring Tommy. Before she could fully wrap her head around the fact that they were not making fun of her and that a really good looking person just gave her a compliment Tommy had to go open his mouth again.

Tommy snorted. "That's because you'd be trying to hit that." That's it!

"I am right here Merlyn. See if I still get you some Big Belly Burger on the way back." Felicity stuck her tongue out and ended the call through Tommy's hurried and panicked apologies. At this point her face was as red as the cherry floors in the first apartment that they had gone to tour and she prayed to every search engine out there that she could somehow just please manage to melt into a puddle and disappear down the drain.

She was brought out of her wishing by Jack's voice. "I never thought I'd see the day that a woman would have such a hold on Tommy."

"We're not-"

"Dating. " He finished as he held out a hand to help her up from the tub. "I know. And frankly I never really saw him as a relationship type anyway. But then again we haven't seen much of each other after college and even then we weren't exactly close. My point is that if there's ever a woman that Tommy would fully trust himself with it would be to a friend and not someone he was in a relationship with. I just could never see him trusting a person so much with the potential to break his heart. He was always guarded."

"I guess I can see what you're saying." Felicity didn't voice out the fact that he did take that chance. With Laurel. But then again it seemed that Laurel was the exception to every rule.

"Besides I fully intend to take advantage of the fact that Tommy was stupid enough not to keep you for himself." He gave her a grin that was all teeth and dimples. "And I wasn't joking when I said that you are truly a very beautiful woman, Felicity."

* * *

Tommy stretched on his bed as the call ended. He wondered briefly if he had pushed Felicity too far and that she really wouldn't bring him back any food. Hospitals were not exactly known for their cuisine. He's only been in there for two days and he's already sick of it. (Pun unintended).

He picked up the tablet from the lap desk in front of him and was about to go check out the apps that Felicity had downloaded into the thing when he realized that he wasn't alone anymore.

"Laurel." Suddenly the air in the room shifted. "How long have you been there?"

Laurel Lance has always been a picture of grace and beauty. No matter the situation she always made sure that no one can see the cracks in her defenses. But not Tommy. Never Tommy. Tommy always saw. And just like always he could see how her eyes were slightly drooping with weariness and lingering anxiety. Her blazer had a few wrinkles along it's lining and her lips look like she's been biting them again.

There was a barrage of emotions running through him, anger, betrayal, heartbreak, worry. He didn't know which to hold on to. "Not that long. I was about to knock but you were in the middle of a call. I- I just wanted to check in on how you're doing."

"Oh. Yeah. I'm fine." He watched as she shifted on her feet by the door of his room. She looked uncomfortable, something he rarely ever saw with her. "Come in. Take a seat."

"It's been a while." Her words fell flat. It looked like she didn't know what to say anymore than he did.

"Yeah it has." They sat in awkward silence for a moment as Tommy tried to get a grasp on his feelings. But it was hard. Over the last month he had caught glimpses of Laurel but he never approached her. He didn't know what to say, how to react. He wasn't ready. He still wasn't. But now he was confined to a room and he couldn't very well make an escape.

"Look Tommy. I made a mistake-" She began, but Tommy cut her off with a dark laugh.

Oh. Betrayal it is then. "What mistake? We were broken up. And it wasn't like I was wrong."

"Wait. Oliver-?" The guilt that was in her eyes vanished and hope sprung from her eyes at the mere thought that Oliver has done something. He felt bile rise up to his throat but he bit it down.

"No. He didn't tell me Laurel." He let venom drip with every word. "In fact. What he told me was that I was being an idiot and that I should give us a chance again. So imagine my surprise when I go to do just that and I see you wrapped around him."

He watched her flinch at his tone and a part of him cheered that he could hurt her. Even if it's only barely a fraction of how she'd hurt him. "I can explain, Tommy. It was a mistake! Oliver…" Laurel paused and looked at him with wide teary eyes. "He won't even talk to me anymore."

Indignation if he had to put a name to what he was feeling at the moment. Maybe righteous disbelief. "Oh so that's it? Oliver is ignoring you so you're going to me? He's not an option anymore so you're choosing me?" His voice kept rising as he kept speaking to the point where he was nearly shouting.

Laurel jumped up to her feet. She looked panicked and hurt and Tommy felt a simmer of guilt within him. "That's not what I meant!"

"I'll always be second to Oliver in your eyes Laurel. Just go. Please." He closed his eyes and tried to center himself. It has always been this way. Oliver would do something stupid and Laurel would come running to Tommy and he would make everything better. But he couldn't. Not anymore.

"Tommy, just listen to me." She started to cry and every tear that fell from her blue eyes was a stab in the gut for him. He wasn't sure how much longer he could hold it together.

Tommy hit the call button, sending a nurse rushing into his room. "I'm tired, Laurel. Please. Just leave." He turned toward the wall. To a degree it was his fault. All of a sudden he was turning the tables on her, taking out the person she always went to for help or a shoulder to cry on. But he had to get out of this carousel. He couldn't let himself get caught in Laurel and Oliver's vicious cycle again.

"Ma'am." He heard the nurse call for Laurel's attention as she started to lead her out of the room.

"Tommy." He could hear the desperation in her voice and he knew that if he looked at her his resolve would break and he would take her back in his arms and comfort her. Erase all of her pain.

He had to stand firm and not waver. It was time he put himself before her for once. He had to. Or he'll lose himself forever.

"Goodbye Laurel." He whispered before the door shut. He heard her pause before the click of the door echoed in the empty space.

All of a sudden the room felt suffocating. He had just let Laurel go. Laurel who was his everything for nearly all of his life. And now…what now?

He tried to take some deep breaths to uncoil all of the muscles that he hadn't even realized had tensed during his confrontation with Laurel. In and out. Again and again. It was for the best. He deserved to not have to fall back for Oliver. He deserved to be someone's first choice. He reassured himself again and again. He had to let her go.

He still loved Laurel. After decades, it's not an emotion that he would be able to shake easily and maybe some part of him will never be able to shake it. But he could move on. He could try to move on. He could get a fresh start.

And now he sounds like one of those crazy people in denial.

* * *

"Knock knock." Felicity whispered as she opened the door. Apart from the lights above his bed the spacious room was dark. She tiptoed across the room to her usual spot in case Tommy was asleep only to find him staring blankly at window over the Starling City skyline.

She tapped his hand to get his attention and kept her voice down not wanting to jarr the atmosphere. "You okay?"

"Laurel came by." His eyes were closed off and his expression was schooled perfectly. Felicity could tell that something had happened and that it may not entirely be good.

"Oh. That's nice." Felicity's voice rose in pitch towards the end of her statement making it sound more like a question.

Tommy's answering snort told her that it was anything but. "Do you want to talk about it?"

In the month that she's known him she's seen the different polar sides of Tommy and she's always hated seeing him down. It just never seemed to fit with his personality. "No. Not really. Anyway it's nothing I didn't already know." He sighed.

Felicity just nodded as she sat down beside him and took out the bag of Big Belly Burger she had stashed inside of her purse and placed it on the lap desk in front of him in exchange for the tablet that stood there. "I actually considered not getting you anything on the way back but after the afternoon that you've had I guess you've earned it."

He gave her a small smile which she returned and only looked up from the tablet when he asked her a question. "No shake?"

"Just be glad I got you anything at all." She leaned over and kissed his cheek before she settled on her usual seat next to the bed.

She brought up the real estate websites for pictures of the apartments she visited today and proceeded to fill the room's silence with very vivid descriptions of all of the apartments and the little things that apparently wouldn't translate well through a video chat like the amazing views and the way the light hit the rooms.

And the tub, the tub, from the last apartment.

"So Jack said that if there weren't too many offers on any of the places he could close it pretty quickly. Considering your pull with many companies you can probably get it inspected whenever you want so that's not going to be much of a problem." Felicity still couldn't wrap her head around how much he could speed up the process because of who he was. "Basically all you have to do is to pick a place, call up Jack, and you're good to go in a week or two."

Tommy raised an eyebrow from behind the last of his burger. "Speaking of Jack…" He trailed off suggestively.

"No." Felicity nudged his leg with her foot. "I just…"

"You deserve a good guy Felicity. Someone who will put you first."

"So do you." Tommy choked a little on his final bite as he tried to laugh urging Felicity to continue. "I mean not that you need a good man. I mean I don't know your preferences. For all I know you went through all of those women for compensation or to prove something to yourself. And not that there's anything wrong with that."

"Hey!" Tommy sputtered. "I'm not- compensation?! Damnit Smoak!"

His exclamation made her jump, nearly throwing off her balance. She sat up straight and put her feet down trying to figure out how she could make her way back from this mess.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to impugn on your masculinity. Or gender preference." Felicity raised her hands in surrender. "God how did we end up here?"

In any other occasion she would have laughed out loud at the annoyed, angry, appalled, and overall look that he gave her. All wide blue eyes and flaring nostrils against the bright red of his face from embarrassment. If it were a cartoon his hair would be moving on its own and there'd be bits of static running up them. But at the moment she was trying really hard to backtrack before he got really mad.

"I don't know. You tell me! I was trying to be nice and then you go and...what was that word you used? Impugn?" Tommy grumbled as he angrily fisted at his blanket, throwing Felicity little glares every now and then.

Felicity leaned forward on her chair and rolled the lap desk away from them. "All I meant to say was that you deserve someone good who will put you first too."

"Yeah I got that. At first." Tommy refused to meet her eyes but his face was still red as a tomato.

"I'm sorry. Really. I didn't mean too." Felicity crossed her arms on Tommy's legs and leaned her chin on it. She tried her best puppy pout, knowing that she probably looked like a crazed person on crack with her eyes wide open because she never could work out how to do it properly.

Tommy cracked a small smile at her attempt. "I know."

She stayed in her position but moved her head to lay on his legs, just resting her weight on his legs as he slowly began to relax beneath her again. "You're really warm you know."

"I'm still a little pissed at you, you know." She felt him shift under her and raise his knee slightly as an attempt to nudge her up. "Are you going to get up or not?"

She didn't even bother to raise her head. "I know. But I'll wear you down eventually. And on the other thing…no. I'm going to take a nap. I've been walking around all day."

"Well give me the damn tablet then. It's not like you're using it." Felicity reached out beside her blindly until her hands met with the smooth, cool surface of the tablet. She grabbed it and turned it towards the direction of Tommy's face. "Thanks. You nearly hit my face by the way."

"Oh nooo. Not your perfect face." Fingers crossed she manage to make that come off as sarcastic as she wanted.

"Damn right not my perfect face."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Upcoming: [Part V - Repercussions Redux ]


End file.
